If your relationship is in trouble, you need professional, non-psychobabble help - help that gives you a fresh perspective as well as clearly understood ways to improve. Most people come in wanting to fix their spouse. The most powerful thing you can bring to a counselor is willingness to look at yourself. When you drop defensiveness, excuses, denial and a desperate need to be right, you are well on your way to a better marriage. This rarely comes easily or naturally, but your marriage is worth the effort.
With every encounter you are either building up or tearing down the relationship. Learn to replace your toxic ways of relating with habits that build up the marriage. Come in and get some help. Don’t wait until one of you feels it is hopeless. I’ve seen many many troubled, toxic relationships make the change into something loving, supportive and healthy.